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It’s been a while since my last blog post! But I’m coming back with a couple of free printables so hopefully that will make up for it. I’ve been so busy with family and art and everything in between and I’ve realized something was needed to help keep me and my kids on track. My boys are 9 and 11 and getting them to do chores and their morning and evening routines has been a real pain, to put it lightly. Friends of mine have expressed the same struggle with their own kids, so at least I know we’re not in this boat alone!
It was suggested to us recently to try good behavior incentives, which is not really something we’ve tried before so it sounded like a good idea. This is different from bribes, which we’ve totally tried and truly bribes don’t change a child’s behavior for the long term. They’re more of a desperate attempt on the parents’ part to get a decent family photo or silence for 10 minutes then the kid is back to their shenanigans. The rewards incentives are different in that they put the ball in the kids’ court and it’s an ongoing process. It’s completely up to the child to practice positive behavior to earn things they want and after a while of doing this, the behavior becomes normal for them. At least, that’s the hope.
Our school uses something called Class Dojo and students receive points if caught doing the right things (standing in line, listening while the teacher is speaking, etc.). It really is effective with most of the students. They love earning Dojo points and trading them in for rewards! At least, my kids do. So we’re trying this to see how it goes at home.
The important thing, and what makes the rewards chart effective, is making sure the rewards are something your kids REALLY want. Like, if their favorite place to go after school is the local ice cream shop, that could be a great reward. We have three tiers of rewards and we use a point system. Certain behaviors we really want them to improve on are worth more points. Things that are already easy or habitual for them are worth fewer points. We have a trampoline park in Athens that our boys love, so that’s a top tier reward. They’ve got to really put in some positive behavior efforts to reach that reward!
We are still getting used to our chart and the point system, so I expect there will be some tweaking to the system. If we find that points are being earned too quickly or to slowly, we will adjust. We want our kids to earn rewards! If it’s too difficult, then the chart will not do its job. We do have some 1st tier rewards that can be earned in just a few days. Sometimes, especially with younger kids, they need smaller and more frequent incentives. Tier 1 rewards are things that cost nothing or cost very little, but are still something worth earning. An example would be they get to choose what we do for family fun night that week…a movie, a game, nerf war, etc. Side note, it’s important to let them know that family time is not the incentive (family time is important no matter what). The reward is getting to choose the activity.
I’m including an image of our chart (scroll down to see ours) to give you an idea for points opportunities and rewards, along with a little video on how we use it. The printable is blank so you can write in your own rewards and point scale. You can pop your image into photoshop, Canva, or something similar and add a text box if you want yours to look similar to ours. I laminated ours as well as our rewards bucks so they last longer. You could skip printing the bucks and keep up with it in your notes app if you want, but kids love seeing and counting their rewards bucks. This gives them a nice visual on their progress. My 9 year old counts his points up several times a day when he has a reward in mind that he’s trying to earn.
Below, you will find some things in the “Shop the Post” carousel that we used to make our chart along with suggestions for rewards or family games. Fidget toys make great Prize Box prizes. I also find fun things in the dollar bin at Target. The boys get to choose one thing from the prize box when they turn in points for that. You could also put crayons, coloring books, packs of clay, comic books, etc. in there. Whatever low-cost, smaller items your kid is really into is perfect!
Hopefully you will find this Positive Rewards Chart helpful for your family! Let me know how you get on with it and if you have any suggestions on how to improve it!
Next week, I’ll be sharing our task list (aka chore list) that includes both morning and evening routines. This is how our boys are earning allowance and even more points for the rewards chart.
Please keep in mind that none of these efforts are going to work 24/7 and nothing is immediate, so if it works one day but doesn’t the next, it’s ok. Don’t give up. The key to any long lasting change is consistency. Kids are simply smaller, less mature humans than adults. They have mood swings, good days and bad days, burn out and LOTS of feelings just like grown ups do. They just are louder and more expressive than we are and they’re learning how to deal with it all.
-Hannah
I may receive a small compensation at no additional cost to you when you purchase from any affiliate links below. Thanks!
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